Don't Look Back
by Sphere's Delight
Summary: *SLASH* After a fight with Ron, Harry retreats to solitude, only to find his solice invaded by Draco Malfoy. Harry suffers confusion, angst, and shock after a dramatic night and day...


Don't Look Back

By Sphere's Delight

Disclaimer:  I don't own the characters, JK Rowling does… and I don't own the little disclaimer at the end of this fic.  I know the fic probably doesn't need the R rating, but you can never be too careful…

            Harry didn't know how it had happened, that night, that morning.  He didn't know how he could have been so stupid, he had no idea what had come over him to reveal everything so senselessly.  Or _did_ it make sense?  No… the way it had ended… Harry gazed out the window of his dorm, staring at the Quiditch Pitch.  __

_            "Run, now, and don't look back…"_

            That was what he had said.  Harry felt a tear slide down his cheek.

            _"Don't look back…"_

***

            Harry sat under a tree near Hagrid's hut.  His face was tear streaked from his recent fight with Ron and Hermione; Ron and she had been begging him to leave Hogwarts, to run somewhere safe with Sirius, to get the hell out of the line of fire.  Harry had firmly refused each time they had pleaded with him, and finally Ron had told him that he could just go and get himself killed, what would the Weasley family care?  Ron had stormed out, and Hermione had thrown something at Harry, and he had run to the tree he was now sitting under.

            Harry didn't need Ron being temperamental on him, not with all the stress he was under.  Harry was _better off_ without Ron, giving him pointless grief and nights of confusion and indecision.  At least, that was what Harry had tried to tell himself.

            Harry knew that he needed Ron, like a friend, wanted him for something more.  He had been in love with the fiery haired redhead since their fifth year.  Maybe for longer.  Harry didn't know, and he shouldn't care, with the way Ron was treating him, currently.  Ron… the boy he'd never been able to confess all his feelings to, the boy he'd never dared to kiss, no matter how much he had wanted to.  

            "Ron…" whimpered Harry, staring off into oblivion.  "You stupid git, why don't you just notice what's under your nose?"

            "And what would _that_ be, Potter?" drawled a familiar voice.  Silky, smooth, and Harry realized… sexy.  The voice of Draco Malfoy.

            "Oh, go fuck off like a pink polka-dotted orange tree," Harry snapped without turning around to see the owner of _the voice._

            "I would, Potter, but I'm afraid I've never seen a pink polka-dotted orange tree, are you sure they're not figments of your imagination?  Like all those pains in your widdle scaw?"

            "Look, Malfoy," Harry snapped.  "Go taunt some fourth-year, I really don't need this right now.  Just… leave me alone."  Harry hadn't yet turned to face Draco.

            "Potter, look at me," Draco whispered.  Harry stood up defiantly, and began to walk away from the source of the voice.  Draco reached out and grabbed his arm.  "Look, could I talk to you for a minute?"

            Harry spun around, slapping Draco's hand from his arm.  "Fine, talk, but I won't guarantee you that I'll be listening."  

            Draco glared at Harry with… hurt in his eyes?  Harry glared back.  "Right, fine, whatever.  I'm, I guess, _sorry_ for all the things I've said about you and your parents and your," Draco spat the word out as if it were filth, "_friends_."

            "That's nice, can I go now?" asked Harry irritably.

            "I'm not done, Potter.  Er, Harry.  Where was I?"  Draco paused.  "Okay, so, I'm sorry, and I'm sorry because I'm kind of gay and am also in love with you."

            Harry stared at Draco.  "_Now_ can I go?" asked he.

            "No, you may not go, because I am going to win you over, right here, right now.  Got it?  I only have this chance, and then-" Draco shut his mouth, as if he'd disclosed too much.  Harry narrowed his eyes.  "Anyway, just, sit back down."

            Harry paused, but complied.  _This could all be a plan of Voldemort's_, he told himself.  Harry didn't care.  Ron… Ron couldn't see what was right under his nose, and Harry wasn't going to let an opportunity do have fun, piss Ron off, and to, perhaps, turn someone to his side.

            "Right.  Harry… tell me about what finds you out here, tonight."

            Harry shrugged.  "I was just thinking about how this was my last year at Hogwarts," he lied.  

            "Tell the truth."  Harry looked at Draco in surprise.  "Oh, honestly, I can tell when someone, especially you, is lying."

            "Just some things Ron said to me," Harry muttered.  Draco raised his eyebrows.

            "Oh, trouble in paradise, is there, Potter?" he sneered.  Harry made as if to leave.

            "I don't have to be here, you know, and if you want to win me over, trust me, you're doing a mighty bad job at it."

            "Sorry!  Gawd.  Anyway, what did Ron say?"

            "That he and the rest of his family wouldn't care if I got myself killed or anything, wouldn't shed a tear."

            "That's a lie, and you know it.  Even I can see that he and his family most certainly give a shit about you.  What's the real problem?"

            "Look, Malfoy," Harry spat, standing.  "I don't _want _to be here, and I _really_ don't want to be answering all your stupid questions, so either you do something that'll change my mind, or I'm leaving."

            "Fine," Draco muttered.  "Go on, I'll just have failed in _everything_ I've tried to do, even Weasley and Granger won't be able to pull you out of this one.  Shoo."

            "Excuse me?" Harry wondered, startled.  "What will Ron and Hermione have trouble getting me out of?"

            "I'm here to _save_ you, Potter, save you from the _big bad monster_ coming, catch my drift?  You either stay here, and let me _help_ you, or go on and storm off, and I'll be miserable my whole life because I could have saved you and I _failed_."

            "What the _hell_ are you talking about?" asked Harry.  He sat back down.

            "The _big bad monster_ that no one refers to by name.  He's _coming_, and Father sent me here to save you."

            "Liar, I'll be better off if I go back to my dorms," Harry yelled.

            "Look into my eyes, Harry," Draco whispered.  "Look into my eyes and tell yourself that I'm lying, and that I'm here to hurt you."

            Harry looked into Draco's eyes, his eyes that shone like the full silver moon, and they shone with concern and fear.  Harry jumped back.

            "You're a very good actor," Harry murmured.

            "I know," Draco smirked.  "_When_ am I acting, though?  When I tell you this, or when I talk shit about Weasley and Granger?"

            Harry shrugged.  "I suppose that if I trust you, nothing _that_ bad can happen, I'm a much more powerful wizard than you."

            Draco grinned.  "Exactly.  No harm, really.  Come, sit back down."  Draco patted the ground.  "Oh, honestly, I don't bite.  Not yet, anyway…" Draco widened his grin, to show Harry he was joking.

            Harry looked suspiciously at Draco, then grinned.  "And how do you know that _I_ don't bite?"

            Draco laughed.  "Well, there's only one way to find out!"

            Harry laughed, too, and sat down.  "You aren't _that_ bad, and you don't seem to have anything sinister up your sleeve."

            "Such high compliments, Potter."

            "Harry, if you really _are_ madly in love with me, as you say, you might as well call me by my first name instead of my last, like some teacher."  Harry made a face.  

            Draco stared at Harry.  "Right, then.  Harry."  Draco scooted closer to the Gryffindor.  "Mind if I…?"  Draco ran a finger across Harry's cheek.

            "Mind if you what?" Harry said softly.  _What the Hell is this?  I really should stop acting like an idiot, and get up right now, and go tell Ron how I feel…_  Harry shrugged off the rational part of his mind. 

            "Mind if I do this?" Draco asked, then leant closer in and kissed Harry.  _This is _wrong_!  Wrong wrong wrong wrong… right!  No, not right… wrong.  Wrong… Whoa, he's a good kisser…_ Harry's last coherent thoughts were such, and then he found himself sinking into Draco's embrace, Draco's touch, Draco's skin.  At some point, Draco had dragged Harry into the Forest, where clothes were carelessly discarded.  Cries and sweat filled the night, and two bodies, one with dark hair, one with hair as pale as the moon, danced a dance that was as ancient as the stars.

            Harry fell asleep in Draco's embrace, feeling oddly content.  Maybe it was because he had spited Ron, but he somehow doubted it… most likely it was because he had ignored hidden attraction to Draco for so long, for almost seven years.  Harry didn't think on it much, though, for exhaustion overtook him quickly.

*~*~*

            Harry awoke to a pair of silver eyes staring down at him nervously, and two soft hands on his shoulders, shaking him.  Momentarily, confusion invaded his mind, but then he remembered the night's events.  Harry smiled.

            Draco responded by releasing Harry's shoulders.  "Get up, Harry, and quickly.  You remember that big bad monster?  He's coming… and soon."  Draco handed Harry his wrinkled robes.  "Put these on, then go."

            "Draco, is this your doing?" Harry whispered.

            "No, my father, he just stumbled over, he was bruised and beaten - he wasn't a bad man, Harry, not a loyal Death Eater- and he warned me Voldemort knew that we had tried to save you, and to get you out of here, and then he fell over, and…" Draco choked.  "Died."

            "Draco, I should stay here with you," Harry insisted as he pulled on his robes.  "You need someone here with you to-"

            "Stop talking, and go."  Harry was about to open his mouth once more in protest, but a rustling in the bushes shut him up.  "Run now, and don't look back." Draco ordered.  "Don't look back, don't think of me, ever.  Go!"  Harry turned from Draco and bolted from the clearing.  As he ran, he heard once more Draco's voice cry out, "Don't look back!"  Then, he saw a faint green glow illuminate the trees in front of him.  Harry faltered, stopped to turn around and finish Voldemort off, Voldemort, who had just killed Draco… 

            _"Don't look back…"_ Draco's words echoed through Harry's memory.  He gave a small sob, then continued to run forward to the castle.

            He found complete chaos, students screaming and running from men with masks to hide their identities… the Death Eaters had attacked Hogwarts, searching for him.  Harry's wand was ready at once, and he was using curses that he'd never even wanted to know.  Death Eaters fell to the ground before him.

            Suddenly, Harry was aware of another set of curses, coming from someone next to him.  He turned to see Ron.  They grinned at eachother for a split second, Harry forgetting about Draco briefly, then returned to flinging curses at their attackers.

            The threat was subdued soon, and the students without injury huddled in the great hall.  Ron sat silently next to Harry, who was noticing the absence of Draco Malfoy… the one who had saved him. 

_            "Don't look back…"_  Harry turned to Ron, sitting next to him.  

            "Ron," he whispered, "you know how I like guys?" Ron nodded.  "I like _you_."

            Ron stared at Harry.  "Me?" whispered the stunned boy.

            "Yes.  I… Ron, I think I love you."  Harry felt something tug at the back of his mind, saying that, Draco's face, grinning out at him.

            _"Don't look back…"_

            "No, scratch that," Harry muttered.  "I _know_ I love you."  

            Ron blinked.  "Harry, I… give me a bit, okay?"  Harry nodded.  "Thanks for telling me."

            Harry turned away, remembering the only reason that he was here, telling Ron these things that he wasn't sure of any more.

            _"Don't look back…"_

            Harry sighed and stared towards Dumbledoor, who was saying something about the valiant efforts of all the students.  He fell into a numb daze as he listened to his Headmaster's words.

***

            Now, a day later, Harry sat at his window, envisioning Draco's face, staring up at him from the Pitch.  He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to find Ron.

            "You remember what you said to me last night, in the hall?"  Harry nodded.  "I feel the same way."  Ron pulled Harry into a kiss that lacked the luster of the kisses he had shared with Draco.

            _Is this right?_  Harry wondered.  _Draco, who died for me, who saved my life, who… this can't be right, disrespecting him._

            "You alright, Harry?"

            _"Don't look back…"_

            "Yeah, just a bit of shock.  I'll get over it."  Harry murmured, then smiled at Ron, who smiled in return.

End

Final Disclaimer:

The disclaimer of a very, very wise slash writer once read something like: Writers of Het fics don't warn you when there's het romance ahead.  I don't have to warn you about slash.  So, now that you're done with this first portion, flames concerning the sexual nature of this fic are not appreciated.  


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